THE QUACK
The Quack is a comedy personal blog featuring real-life facepalm moments & muddled observations told by British women's fiction author Mary Newnham. Visit TheQuack.blog Follow Mary on @marynewnhamwrites.
Episodes

Feb 12, 2025
Feb 12, 2025
11 min
“I can’t stay any longer. I’m sorry, it’s just not my cup of tea!”
This week on The Quack, I reflect on all the times audience members (including myself) have not behaved in the theatre.
Skip Introduction | 1:30
Read Here | TheQuack.Blog
Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com

Feb 5, 2025
Feb 5, 2025
10 min
"I had a striped shirt on because I thought that's what people wore to offices..."
In today's Quack, I reflect on the years when I was building up my CV with work experiences...Some experiences were better than others.
Read and see photos | TheQuack.blog
Skip Introduction | 1:55
Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com
Follow me on The Gram | @MARYNEWNHAMWRITES

Jan 29, 2025
Jan 29, 2025
7 min
“You want him to have the pick of the bunch, but he picks you,” Sausage said, waving her fork in the air.
Four school friends have brunch and discuss being single in their thirties.
Skip Introduction | 1:35
Visit| TheQuack.blog
Music | Soundstripe.com

Jan 22, 2025
Jan 22, 2025
8 min
🎶Oh, look what I have…. another emotionally unavailable man. 🎶
A passion for musical theatre but without the talent. This week on The Quack, Sex-Ed Tom and I go to see the musical Titanique. And it brings back memories of when I dropped out of theatre school...

Jan 15, 2025
Jan 15, 2025
8 min
She can list the names of Farrow & Ball paints as if they were her nephews and nieces...
This week on The Quack, I'm decorating my bathroom with Hermione. 👯♀️But will my interior designer mum approve of the colour? 🎨👩 Find me on TikTok @MaryNewnham for an attempted ‘before and after’ time-lapse video
Skip Introduction | 1:35
Blog | www.TheQuack.blog
Sound | Soundstripe.com

Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025
9 min
"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someone’s shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight."
Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen.
Skip Introduction | 1: 54
Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog
Sounds & music | Soundstripe.com

Jan 1, 2025
Jan 1, 2025
8 min
"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol."
Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober.
Skip Introduction | 1:30
Read The Quack | Www.TheQuack.blog
Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com
Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace.

Dec 18, 2024
Dec 18, 2024
8 min
"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree."
This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey.
Skip Introduction | 1:38
Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog
Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com
Contact | Mary@thequack.blog

Dec 11, 2024
Dec 11, 2024
10 min
"I’m relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces."
This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self.
Skip Introduction | 3:05
Visit | www.thequack.blog
Sound | Soundstripe.com

Dec 4, 2024
Dec 4, 2024
10 min
If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street.
The Christmas season is here! 🎄 Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party.
Skip Introduction | 1:45
Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com
Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.Blog






