THE QUACK

The Quack is a comedy personal blog featuring real-life facepalm moments & muddled observations told by British women's fiction author Mary Newnham. Visit TheQuack.blog Follow Mary on @marynewnhamwrites.

Episodes

Jul 1, 2026

12 min

" It was my first lesson in love. No matter how much you love someone, you can’t hold on to them forever… unless you want their skin to fall off. "
 
After watching Toy Story 5, I found myself reminiscing about my own favourite childhood toy, Jack Rabbit.
 
Skip Introduction: 3:40
Read | TheQuack.blog
Sound/music | Soundstripe.com 
Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites
 
Bad Dates Club is coming out in September 2026. Preorder it here.

Jun 10, 2026

10 min

Her enthusiasm for getting people into a room baffled and pained him.
 
This week's Quack is about the time mum opened up her home to the public to showcase her late partner Richard Nott's studio and art collection. Guest starring a whippet named Wesel. Please note this Quack covers sensitive topics.
 
Skip introduction - 3:47
Read | TheQuack.blog
Sound/music | Soundstripe.com 
Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites
 
Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy is out now!
Bad Dates Club is coming out in September 2026. Preorder it here.
 

May 28, 2026

12 min

'I was in the woods surrounded by pixilated men tied to trees...'
In this week's episode, I visit an immersive Viking experience in Canada Water. I had visions of crossing wild seas and battling Vikings... but it wasn't *quite* that. 
 
Read | TheQuack.blog
Sound/music | Soundstripe.com 
Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites
 
Bad Dates Club is coming out in September 2026. Preorder it here.
Buy Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy today

May 13, 2026

10 min

‘Is there ever a time you feel more peer pressure than when you’re with your partner’s friends?’ 
 
This week is about friends and partners and those vital first impressions. Includes a facepalm moment involving Tequila. 
 
Read | TheQuack.blog
Sound/music | Soundstripe.com 
Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites
 
Bad Dates Club is coming out in September 2026. Preorder it here.

Apr 29, 2026

11 min

'Biological clocks were ticking; hairlines were receding; we had no time for dating games. And yet, there were games. So many games...'
 
This Quack is about my rusty dating years and how that time inspired my second novel, Bad Dates Club. 
 
Read it | Thequack.blog
Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites 
Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com
Preorder Bad Dates Club wherever you get your books. Coming 10th September 
 
 

Apr 16, 2026

12 min

'We were doing leg circles when a man farted so loudly that it disturbed my inner peace for days...'
 
This week, we go on my "Yoga journey" from a fancy Reformer Pilates studio to a hot-pod yoga tent in North London... and all the mishaps along the way. 
 
Photos on TheQuack.Blog
Follow my IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites
Read my novel | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy 
Sound and music credit | Soundstripe.com
 
The Quack is produced, written, recorded and edited by Mary Newnham 

Apr 2, 2026

11 min

"Oh! Maybe I should come as the Easter Bunny!' 🐰
 
On this week's Quack, I go back to the 90s, when the Easter Bunny didn't quite live up to my expectations. And all these easter eggs have me thinking about my own eggs...
 
Skip introduction | 4:01
Visit | TheQuack.blog (for photos)
Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites
Sound | Soundstripe.com
Buy my book - Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy
 
Subscribe for future episodes 
 

Mar 4, 2026

10 min

"We watched in awe as the husband emerged from the sea with his new wife on his shoulders..."
 
It's time for some winter sun. Roman and I went on holiday to a (not-so) inclusive resort in the Maldives and encountered a very interesting bunch of people. 
 
Skip Intro: 3:00
Vist | TheQuack.blog
Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites
Sound and Music | Soundstripe.com
 
Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy is out now!

Jan 29, 2026

10 min

“Can you sign this one for my personal trainer? Say thank you for looking after my dad.”
 
To wrap up 'The Story of Writing A Novel' series, I officially launch my debut novel into the world. To celebrate, I overordered merchandise and threw a book launch at INK&84 in North London. 
Skip introduction: 2:25
Order| Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy at Ink
Visit | TheQuack.Blog
Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites
Sound | Soundstripe.com
 

Jan 19, 2026

34 min

On the last episode of How to Author, I talk to Sunday Times Bestseller Laura Marshall. (Friend Request, My Husband's Killer, Kiss Marry Kill). We talk about her success as a thriller author, building a life around full-time writing, and question how important social media is for an author. A fantastic chat full of solid advice for any writer out there.
 
Laura's latest book, 'Kiss Marry Kill', is OUT NOW!
My debut, 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy', is out THIS WEEK!
 
Follow
@LauraMarshallAuthor
@MaryNewnhamWrites
 
Read TheQuack.blog

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