THE QUACK

THE STORY OF MATHS AND ME.

"It was there in that terrapin building with Mr. Marcus and his good hair, that I realised that I hated maths and was also not very good at it."
 
A quick look into my horrid and relatable journey of everyone's least favorite subject - mathematics. 

32 YEARS OF HURT: LIVING WITH FOOTBALL.

"All I want to do is get rid of the ball, so I can go home and resume Polly’s pool party in Polly Pocket land."
 
A witty observation about living with a football-obsessed family, in a football-obsessed land.
 
(SKIP INTRO 2:29)

WHAT'S YOUR WILD STORY?

"We all need to arm ourselves with at least one crazy life story..."
 
An observation about the need to have a wild story to tell...
 
SKIP INTRO 2:21.
 
 

#LIVINGYOURBESTLIFE? WHAT I LEARNT WHEN I MOVED TO AUSTRALIA.

"The problem with moving to Australia was that I had to bring myself with me."
 
The story of when I moved to Australia and the vital life lessons I learnt.
 
Skip Intro 2:44

THE BABY SHOWER AND MY NAGGING EGGS.

"As I ate my plant-based scone, I heard that luring voice coming from an ovary. “You can throw an afternoon tea party too…if you just use one of us."
 
When you're single, 32, and at your friend's baby shower...
 
SKIP INTRO 2:05

THE WEEK I BECAME A CRAZY CAT LADY.

Cats have mastered the subtle art of not giving a f***. 
 
Last week I looked after Enzo...This is the story of how I went a little crazy. 

AMSTERDAM: A FRIENDSHIP TEST

When Hermione opened her egg sandwich on the Eurostar, I was reminded of why I don't do group holidays.
 
A story about a girls' trip to Amsterdam. (Skip Intro 2:08)

OUT OF 10, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, MY DEAR?

If the partner’s number is higher than the other, then they get their way...
 
A discussion with Sex Ed Tom about relationship strategies...

THE NOT-SO-GREAT CORNWALL SANDCASTLE COMPETITION

Gran Pat was dragged from her gin and crossword to do the judging. She moved from castle to castle, whilst smoking a cigarette.
 
A childhood memory of when my grandmother judged the family sandcastle competition in Cornwall. 

CAN YOU PULL OFF YOUR NAME?

“Everyone always forgets the tzatziki,” Oliver said, very proud of himself.
 
This week it's Hermione's 32nd birthday, and under the grey sky in a field, we talk about our names. Does Oliver suit being an Ollie? Have Millennial parents gone too far with the unique names? Should I call myself MA MA?