THE QUACK

I CAN'T CALM DOWN - IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!

"The stadium was full of 91,998 screaming Swifties, plus Amy and Hermione."
 
A facepalm moment about the time I went to the Taylor Swift concert, with my non-swiftie friends.
 
SKIP INTRO 4:00
 
Soundtrack and sound effects | www.soundstripe.com
Visit www.TheQuack.blog
 

CARROT, MY HALF A LIFETIME FRIEND.

As we walked out of the garage beneath the starry autumn night, I began to think of what to say when Carrot confessed his love to me. 🥕❤️
 
A story about a friendship that began half a lifetime ago when Carrot had something to say. Includes a great escape.
 
Skip introduction: 2:12
 
Music/Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com

THE PERFECT MEET-CUTE: FINDING LOVE ON A BUS.

There is something about meeting someone in transit...
 
Stories about finding near-love on transport, featuring the true story of when Sausage met a man on a bus from D.C. to NYC, and when I shared a taxi with a stranger. 
 
(You can play a drinking game with the amount of times I say, 'meet cute').
 
SKIP INTRODUCTION: 2:26
 
Music and sound effects | Soundstripe.com
Visit | TheQuack.blog
Email | Mary@thequack.blog

THE TIME I SUNG A DUCK SONG TO JUSTIN ROSE, AND OTHER EMBARRASSING ENCOUNTERS WITH SPORTSMEN.

"The husband looked like a friendly neighbour - the type of man who would rigorously hoover his car mats on a Sunday morning...."
 
Three embarrassing encounters with some of the greatest sportsmen; George Best,  Lawrence Dallaglio, and Justin Rose. 
 
SKIP INTRO: 1:45
 
Soundtrack and Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com
Visit the blog: THEQUACK.BLOG
 
 

HERE'S TO ME, MRS. ROBINSON: IS AGE JUST A NUMBER?

“I’m very into mature women,” he said. I looked behind one shoulder, and then the other, and realised he was talking about me.
 
The night I realised I was seen as a 'mature woman', and a muddled observation about age gaps in relationships.
 
SKIP INTRO: 2:38.
 
Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com
Visit THEQUACK.BLOG. 

THE EURO FINAL: THE MUSICAL

...A fan would whack the table in a rhythm, prompting everyone to shout ‘ENGLAND!’  It wasn't exactly Les Misérables, but it did the job.
 
If the day of the Euro Final was a musical...
 
SKIP INTRO: 2:07
 
Song credits: www.Soundstripe.com

WOULD YOU DATE YOU?

We have a list of what we’re looking for, but is anyone looking for us?
 
Another muddled observation by Mary about dating. 
 
(SKIP INTRO 2:12)

BOOBS.

"And perhaps I’m overthinking it, but they seem to stare off in different directions, like the eyes of the Cookie Monster...."
 
A quick look into boobs; the first bra and beyond. 
 
SKIP INTRO 2:40
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Music and sound effects  - www.Soundstripe.com

THE STORY OF MATHS AND ME.

"It was there in that terrapin building with Mr. Marcus and his good hair, that I realised that I hated maths and was also not very good at it."
 
A quick look into my horrid and relatable journey of everyone's least favorite subject - mathematics. 

32 YEARS OF HURT: LIVING WITH FOOTBALL.

"All I want to do is get rid of the ball, so I can go home and resume Polly’s pool party in Polly Pocket land."
 
A witty observation about living with a football-obsessed family, in a football-obsessed land.
 
(SKIP INTRO 2:29)