THE QUACK

MIND THE GAP: MOVING BACK TO LONDON.

"I should have kids with names and a strong opinion on Peppa Pig, but somehow, at 34, I have found myself back in London..."
 
This week is about my move back to London as a 34-year-old. After leaving with a bad taste in my mouth at 26 (which inspired me to write a terrible poetry book), I never thought I'd come back to live in The Big Smoke, but here I am... maybe it's where I was supposed to be all along. 
 
 
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THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 2: LEARNING TO WRITE.

"Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary, how do you expect to be a published author if you can't even score a high grade on a short story?"
 
This week on The Quack, we continue the series 'The Story of Writing a Novel.' I head back to university to do a Master's in creative writing. There is a drama involving my Metamorphosis book and a sharp learning curve about verbs. 
 
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Link to Guardian article 
 

THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO DO NOW WE'RE NOT SINGLE.

 'That’s right, I thought in my haze, I have a boyfriend now.'
On this week's Quack, I celebrated my 34th birthday by taking my new boyfriend to his very first spa. Unfortunately, it was not the relaxing experience I had promised...
 
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CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY 

THE QUACK WILL BE BACK 17th SEPTEMBER

This month has been a bit chaotic, so I will be returning on September 17th with more facepalm stories. Thank you guys! x

SPERM-EXTERMINATORS & OTHER CONTRACEPTIVES

It seemed barbaric, and yet, she was so casual about it, as if she were demonstrating how to season a chicken.
 
With the help of Reddit reviews, I'm choosing my next birth control method. This episode also includes some seriously great ideas for male contraceptives. 
 
If you want to know more about birth control, click here.
 
Skip Introduction| 2:04
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Pre-order my debut fiction book, AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY, on Amazon. 
 

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 1: THE BOOK THAT DIED.

"It would be called Can of Worms. Sunday Times Bestseller list, here I come."
 
In this first episode of the series, I am going back to the very beginning when I attempted my first novel. 
 
Skip Introduction | 2:21
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Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon and other popular book stores. 

BILLBOARD DAD

I made the mistake of asking Dad, “But do billboards actually work?” I may as well have asked if Tottenham Hotspur was a synchronised swimming team.
 
This week is about growing up in an 80s advertising family and working out what my dad did for work. 
 
Skip Intro | 2:11
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THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL PROM

"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..."
 
This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies. 
 
Skip Introduction | 2:27
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FINDING MY TRUE COLOURS AT THE RUGBY.

"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..." 
 
I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing.
 
Skip Introduction | 2:05
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THE GREAT BRITISH BIRTHDAY

“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. 🧀
 
It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat....
 
Skip Introduction | 1:38
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